Stick Poking

I recently heard this term and it's a perfect description! This morning, and not the first time, Miss H made chocolate milk for her little sister without being asked. She KNOWS little one won't drink it cold. So she comes to me to let me know she did this wonderful task and then explained that AE was complaining that it was too cold. "I put it in the microwave for 40 seconds like we always do but she's still complaining." I knew...I just knew from past experience. I went to AE who immediately handed me the cup and asked that I warm it. I took the cup and placed it on Miss H's cheek and she jumped back. Ice cold. I made a comment that if she had warmed it at all, it wouldn't be that cold. There is no other explanation than to drive me nuts. No one asked her to fix it, so why go to all the trouble just to not heat it up and say you did? This is just one example of the constant ways to drive mom mad.

I implemented a form of Accountable Kids chore chart last night. I read some reviews and liked it, mainly because it is in MY face so I can hopefully stay consistent with it. I need something to organize them and their mess. I am in no way a clean freak but the constant half-ass work around the house is killing me. So I went to Hobby Lobby and for $20 bought materials to make my own system.

They have a Start, Finish, Earned Tickets, and Extra area for each kid. On Start, there hangs two cards, one for morning and one for evening. On each, their chores/expectations are listed and are individual to each child's abilities. In the morning when their tasks on the card are complete, they let me know and if done and done correctly, they receive a Ticket. Same goes for evening. Each ticket is 30 minutes. When it's privilege time, they can use their tickets for tv, outside play, etc. If they don't have any tickets, they can spend that time in their rooms reading, drawing, puzzles, etc. There is also a list of things that will get a ticket removed such as arguing, disrespect, having to be asked more than once, etc. This is to make me consistently check their work and to let them see that privileges aren't a given but must be earned. I will tweak as we go along but we started this morning. I said I would not pull any tickets through Friday but instead would be pointing out, "you would loose a ticket for that behavior." This gives them a chance to earn some time for the weekend and not get discouraged right away. They have to choose to "spend" their ticket today or save it for the weekend or another time. Hopefully they can learn to manage their time better. There is also a Best Behavior card and I intend on awarding it to someone everyday. It is worth 30 extra minutes. I explained there may be days that they are all great (bwhaa haa ha) but I will only award it to one person. It won't always seem fair but the fairness will rotate. I am so tired of trying to balance fairness all the time - it's impossible and they need to figure that out. Easier said than done, I realize.

They have already tested me on the first morning but I'm not playing. Something has got to give or it will be me, snapping into insanity. Miss H was trying to negotiate immediately. What if we don't get everything done but then we do something special for you, like sweep your bathroom? There is no negotiating. You have to understand too, that Miss H has cleaning rules. So many people say how lucky I am that she loves to clean. They don't know what this entails.

I can't find anything, things get broken, AND she will clean everything EXCEPT what I have asked her to do. Scrub my kitchen floors? YES! Make her bed? No... I am constantly telling her to not clean any mess she didn't make unless I ask her to. Everyday I ask, where is ____ and she will say oh I moved it over here. No reason, just to stick poke....