I find the holidays to effect me as much as it effects my kiddos. Or maybe it's the shorter days and colder weather. In any case, I start therapy this week for myself. I have finally realized that I can't go on just existing. When the tough comes up, I push it back and think I'll deal with it later. I never deal with it and its weight drags me down. This makes for a not-so-great mom. It's not that I get angry but instead just drift along, not really trying to deal with the hard stuff - theirs or mine.
The disrespect is in high gear from them both lately, M working off over $100 he "stole" from me. H keeps taking the batteries out of her door alarm and I've tried everything. It's amazing how successful they are at being sneaky. Their meds we began a couple of months ago have really made a difference though. I put off meds for so long...not wanting to jump on that bandwagon unnecessarily but honestly, it is really helping them. H hasn't raged in weeks or attempted to run away. This is HUGE. M can laugh things off now instead of shutting down. This also is HUGE.
I am looking into something for M, something life changing for us all. I am praying on it and proceeding with the process. Please keep us in your thoughts as this plays out and when/if something definite comes of it, I will share with you.
3 comments:
It's good to see a post from you, I have thought about you guys and wondered how things were going. It sounds like you are trudging through, which is good. A little therapy for mom won't hurt. I am sure all of the life changes have had almost/as much affect on you as it has had on them. We'll be keeping you guys in our thoughts.
It's soo good to hear from you. I think we moms need as much support as possible so I'm glad you're in therapy. Make sure you find a good therapist who "gets it."
Please call me if you want to talk!
Mary in TX
I'm sorry to hear that things have been tough. I'm thinking of you and praying for you--I miss you TERRIBLY!!!
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