Icky and Ugh...

I found another icky pair of boxers yesterday. I asked M to come take care of them and he instantly became defensive. I let him know I was not mad and even praised him for not hiding them like he usually does. I could tell there was still a lot of shame he was wearing on his shoulder. Something I read made me think to bring up something. I softly said that sometimes when we feel disgusting, that we MUST be disgusting for people to have treated us a certain way, and he interrupted with "Like being dumped 3 times???" and I nodded yes. I continued, sometimes we feel the need to wear our feelings on the outside. Such as smearing poop on walls or not brushing our teeth for days or refusing to use soap in the shower. This is all to show how we feel on the inside. He didn't respond and I didn't expect him to. But now he knows that I get it.

I emailed H's teacher a list of the things she has told me about this week, things that have happened at school. I did this last year and it is for several reasons, to build an alliance with the teacher, to make her aware since H won't show her true self for a while, and to learn if anything was actually true. It isn't in judgement at all. I requested a conference before school started but she was busy in meetings. So I sent her an email explaining some things. She took it to the VPrinciple freaked out. The VP and I have talked at length over the years. She reassured the teacher that although H has concerning behaviors at home, she has yet to do anything major at school. I had stated this also but I am sure the reassurance helped. But not enough.... she went to the principle about it, mainly concerned about H telling me how the teacher handled certain situations. The principle wanted me to know he would be letting H know that things get back to him and he would need to discuss it with her each time. At the time of this call, I hadn't taken H to school yet so was very limited in what I could say. After I dropped her off, I called him back. I explained that this is STILL a disorder and a stern talking to wouldn't do anything but embarrass her. Also, if he still felt the need, I wanted to be there. He said he had already spoken with her and that she seemed fine. I let him know the VP and I poke yesterday about tweaking her 504 and he felt I should also request a conference with the teacher..........I let him in on the fact that I already had and he is going to send the teacher an email letting her know to get with me soon. For the most part and in comparison to other schools I have dealt with, I really have no major complaints but one: I have called, gone in person, emailed, given them CD's I've purchased for teachers and I still get the, Oh H is such a funny little thing. She does crazy stuff when she gets board...I don't think anyone can ever get it if they don't live it.