Lessons in Action

Last night Miss H runs into the kitchen as AE was turning on the microwave. AE is 4. She loves hotdogs. She knows how to turn on the microwave and turn it off. I have taught her to count to 10 for the hotdog and then take it out. I don't care what she sets the timer on and neither does she. But Miss H needed to rush in there, yelling NO!, and take over the microwave situation. This, in turn, has AE screaming and running to her room. All the while I am standing.right.there. I explain that while I appreciate Miss H being concerned, she just needs to voice that with a "hey Mom, can AE use the microwave?" I went over how her actions weren't the best for the situation and in the future what she should do. Complete MELTDOWN with a slam of her bedroom door shouting "You never loved me as much as her!!" It didn't last long and she came out in a few with an apology. I could tell she still wasn't regulated though. There was no point in talking anymore, I said all that needed to be said. The rest of the evening went without incident and she got up this morning in better spirits. I knew she felt she was helping and I wasn't appreciating her help. I verbalized that to her, that I appreciate it but this is how she could help without a commotion next time. It didn't matter....

M was invited by my mom's neighbor to go camping with him, his son, and a couple of their friends this weekend. I told M that he has no privileges at the moment so no, he can't go. I also stupidly added that the adults would be drinking and I didn't feel this was good supervision. M took this and told the neighbor I said he can't go because I think the neighbor is a drunk. You can imagine how this man's feelings were hurt. We explained to the neighbor that the hurt was directed at me. That M wanted to make ME look and feel bad, not him. I told M that he would need to replace the love and kindness that he had taken (Thanks Christine!), but the neighbor only wants M to tell him the truth. He doesn't want M doing anything for him and I can't force the issue. I was initially worried that M wouldn't feel a consequence for his actions but my mom pointed out that the dynamic with her neighbors would be different for awhile which WILL effect M. The neighbor's son is friends with M and is also upset about what was said about his dad. Understandably. So M will have to deal with those hurt relationships and that is as natural a consequence as it gets. He was visibly upset when he learned he had hurt this man's feelings. I truly hope he learns from this...